what do you expect

“I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.” ― Dr. Seuss

Well last tri of the season is done and if I look at the final result I was 10 sec short of PB, so I should be happy. Funny thing is I am not. The last thing I wanted to be doing Sunday morning was wearing Lycra, my head was just not in the game. The good thing was I had a plan that I could stick to and figured once going I would get into it. The swim went to plan, steered clear of trouble swam in relaxed manner with no stress, this may have lead to a bit of slow time (14:21) but that was all right. 

So out of the water and into t1 and I my head was still not in the game and my mind was wondering all over the place. Plan on the bike was to ride hard, use almost all my legs and leave not to much in the tank. This only happened in spurts, ultimately I felt the ride went well but not to plan. It was a bit of a surprise to see I did (41:11). 

Considering the preparation I had done, I was flying and feeling really good physically but still my head was still not in the game. I just could not focus on getting the best out of myself and was feeling flat mentally. 

So out onto the run, I really wanted to run fast as looking at my watch I knew with the way I ahve been running it was possible to smash my PB, but I just could not at first. The first lap felt very slow, I was very frustrated with myself and a little flustered. At the turn two kids went flying past, I thought bugger it just do it and tried to go with them. The pace was to hot for me and they dropped me pretty quick, but it got me going. On the second lap I felt fast and got home in (21:25) not the (20:00) I wanted but not the worst 5k I have run either. 

So all up I just missed a PB so why the disappointment? When I finished I was not spent, I was not hurting and I had gone no where near my limit. I felt I had not done all that I could have on the day. Even worse Monday there was no stiffness, aches or soreness. 

It is funny to have a good result and not really be happy with the way I went. I guess I am expecting more from myself all the time.

It is also a bit of a strange way to finish of the season and what was a fantastic event, and it will be some months before I can try to put it right in Tri.

I guess all I can do is use it as motivation.