The Grand old duke of york

Well well what a trip to the Sunny Coast.
It did not start to well with the littlest h vomiting at home, and once on the trip up. He was ok but mum and dad were a bit wary.
I went up the coast not expecting a great deal from myself, after the GC the main goal was to run the entire distance. I had a few demons to get rid of after the GC and was hopeful, but was realistic that GC had to have taken a bit out of me and it was not that long ago.

It was 6am start and as per almost always 5:59am I needed to pee, the first section took us up to Mooloolaba which gave me the opportunity to go the "Loo with a View" a must do on any visit to Mooloolaba. As we hit the top of the hill the sun broke the horizon, and was a very spectacular way to start the day.

Mooloolaba Sunrise

I decided to start out about 5:30min per k and then make decisions based on how i was feeling along the way. For some reason the 4h pace runner was doing the same pace which was great for me as it gave me a good pack to run with. I started chatting to a guy in BBT singlet, Gerry. It was fantastic running the first 14k at the pace I wanted to, chatting away to Gerry and really enjoying being out there. It was at about this time that the 4h pace runner must have checked his progress and realised he was going just a little bit quick and backed off. I kept going at the same pace and was feeling really good so decided i would try to lift just a little.

Chatting away

The course was 4 laps at first I thought this would be a bad thing, but I actually found it really good. It enabled me to see my support crew 8 times as I went round. they were amazing, i forgot my sunnies in the morning but they were delivered to me no worries as were some ice-poles, high five's and big cheers. Never mind the finish line I would never get to the start without the support I get.

Me and my Support Crew

Coming in for a high five with my biggest fans

As we were on lap 2 the half marathoners started to go through, I also found this helpful as they all seemed so fresh and gave off good energy. On the 3rd lap I found myself going through the tail of the half marathoners as they finished. I found myself encouraging them to finish, enjoy the experience and celebrate the achievement of finishing when they get there. This really helped me keep my mind on the job especially as I approached the 32-34k mark. This is the point in the previous marathons that I have started to fall apart.

When I got to this point I started to go past other marathoners who struggling, I tried to encourage them on. I would tell them they had done the training and that they could do it, they only had 5k to go which they can run easy and things like that. Quickly I realised I was telling myself these things and they were really driving me on. My last 10k was fantastic. They hurt, they felt fast, I ran them strong and finished feeling all the satisfication and pride that I was hoping for.

Powering to the finish

I ran the course in 3:45:15.
This is a 14min improvement on my best time and a 35min turn around on the GC just 7 weeks earlier.
My friend Chris also ran his fastest time 2:57something, and as you can see from the pic below we were both pretty happy with ourselves.

Happy runners

It was the first ever the Sunny Coast marathon and was a great day of running. They had 2.5k, 5k, 10k, half and full marathon events. It all seemed to run very well and I would recommend it as an event to enter.

So the trip up to the Sunny Coast was well worth it and I am feeling great.
The bridge to brisbane is Sunday which should be enjoyable without being quick.
Then it is back into Tri training with Noosa only 68 days away.

knocking on the door

It is a couple of days out now from the Sunshine Coast Marathon

I am really looking forward to being a part of this as it is the first time it has been held.
It is always nice to be heading back up to the Sunshine Coast and catching up with old friends and family.

If you are around the Alex Heads/Mooloolaba area Sunday morning come and check it out, it should be a good viewing run as it is a 4 lap event.

No big statements for this one, I feel good and want to run sub 4. However after the GC and realising how quickly things can go bad in the marathon, I know that crossing the line will give me a sense of achievement and pride.

So stay tuned as a post run blog will be priority.

Latest Upgrade

I have just updated my bike to deago bottle & cage and front wheel spoke attachments. Also add a new front gear bag and cool green grips. Should be more Aero right?

The things we do

Well things did not go the way I wanted at the Gold Coast but I did get to the finish line, even though it was not as quickly as I hoped. It ended up taking me 4:19:45.
I ended up deciding to go out with the 3:30 pace runner see how I was feeling and hopefully not fade out to much. Good plan and I would say I did not fade out at all, I ran into a big brick wall and stopped no fading about it.
Things started out great, I went though 21k in 1:43 and was feeling fantastic but at 25/26k things went really bad. In hindsight going out the way I did I should have expected it and I think I did, just not as dramatic as they were. My legs just would not work, I was reduced to a shuffling/walking forlorn figure for the last 10/15k's and let me tell you they were long.

Walking at the GC Marathon

So eventually I made it to the final turn down towards the finish line, this is were I knew I would go past my family who had come to support me. I was petrified and embarrassed, I really felt that I had let them down. I made myself run, there was no way I was going to walk past them. It was amazing that through all the noise I could pick the voices of my family and could hear them as if they were standing next to me. As I crossed the finish line just to let me know how tough the 42.2k's were I got a massive cramp  in my hamstring and I was done. Into recovery for a bit and then out to face the people who I love who at the time I really felt I had let down.
There they were all smiling wanting to give me hug, excited and visibly genuinely proud of me. 
They wanted to hear about my journey and listened to my story and made me realise what I had achieved. I also like the way that while talking afterwards they seem to be inspired to enter an event next year. I would also like to the thank the guy behind me in the picture below. He also helped me to realise  that I should be proud of crossing the finish line no matter how long it took.

Cramping across the finish line - GC Marathon

It did not take long recover, I guess all the walking probably helped. By mid week I felt as if I could have gone out running again. It was also about this time that I was offered entry into the Sunshine Coast Marathon on the 26 of August. After not achieving what I wanted at the GC for what ever reason I jumped at the chance to have another crack. So in 6 weeks I will be doing it all again, and I am already getting excited about the opportunity to push and test myself again.
But for now it is back to training and learning from the lesson given to me.
For those that are interested if you click here you can check out my Garmin details of my GC run.

I really know how to taper

"Will You succeed yes indeed yes indeed I am 93 and three quarters guaranteed" - Dr Seuss

I seem to be starting a lot of these with "its been a while", so this time I will not.

Last time I wrote it was the eve of the Qld Half, this time it is the eve of the GC Marathon. These events are only 1 month apart.  A bit has been going on with assignments and exams but they are done now and results will be in on the 4th of july. Also I have pretty much had the flu for this entire period as well, I did not get my flu shot this winter and now wish I had of.

I ended up running the Half in 1:36, I was pretty happy with this as I had the flu. The down side was I really struggled to shake the flu and leading into this weekend and the marathon I really have not prepared myself the way I was hoping. The good thing is I am now feeling healthy and rested. Below is my training log for June and as you will see it is not exactly what you would expect leading into a marathon.

 Training Log - June 2012

What this means is I have had to adjust my goals and expectations for the marathon. With the work I have done I feel that I can improve on last year, by how much I am not sure but 1sec will do me.

I am getting a bit excited about the run which is very different to nerves of last year. 42.2k is along way and support on the journey really gives you a big boost. I remember the feeling last year when I saw HHH on course and I think the energy they provided really made a difference. When I run I am always looking around for familiar faces, so if you happen to be on coast on Sunday come down for a look. I will be the one in the orange and green.

Orange and Green Running Kit

If you are not on the Coast and are interested in following my progress you can via my facebook page. If you are really keen you can send me a message via http://www.asicsrunwithme.com.au my Bib number to enter is M02490.

GC Marathon Bib 2012

All that is left for this blog entry is to state my goal for all to see. Finishing a Marathon is an achievement, but I already know I can do that. This year I want to run as close to 3:30 as I can without blowing out past the 4 hour mark. Going in slightly under prepared I feel that this goal is a challenging yet realistic one. I am 8kg heavier than I was last year when I did sub 4h but still feel that I am more than capable of achieving that again. If I had of done the preparation that I had planned to before becoming ill the goal would have been sub 3:30. So if I can finish somewhere between these two I will be very happy.

No matter what happens on Sunday I am sure it will be great day for run and hopefully provide an interesting story that does not start with "its been a while"

half on the way

"Being Crazy isn't enough." - Dr. Seuss

Well I can now start counting down to the GC Marathon in days, and the Qld Half is on this weekend. I went for 24k run on the weekend and apart from having the flu and  getting abused then copping a whack from some punk kid, I felt ok. It will be interesting to see how I go this weekend in the Half. This run will be the major factor in deterimining my goals for the GC Marathon. In thinking about my goals for the GC Marathon I was looking at last years pics and vids and thought I would give you a look at the Video of me running last year.

Thanks to fraserland for getting some footage

Watching these really makes me want to do it again and get out there running.

It is good to see me

"There's no limit to how much you'll know, 

depending how far beyond zebra you go" - Dr. Seuss

Where have I been? Running and writing.

Things really have been hectic and eventually something had to give. Well actually a few things had to give and blogging, unfortunately, was one of them.

Since we last meet a few things happened. The weekend after the GC Tri, I ran the inaugural GC Bulletin 10k run ant Robina. I had completely forgotten about this run till the Thursday before it was on. So on the back of a very non-active week and my two boys birthday party which consisted of eating nothing but sugar the day before the run, off to Robina for 10k I went. Surprisingly I ran 42:39. 

Birthday Cake - Day of Sugar

GCB 10k finished inside Skilled Stadium

Then it was assignment time.

I needed to get one done before the long weekend so that we could go camping. A couple of late nights, assignment done and off to Wivenhoe for the weekend we went. 

At Wivenhoe we were camping with 3 other couples. Two of the guys there were preparing for IM Cairns, one was doing the half the other the full 226km. When I arrived at the campsite these two had just got back from a 100 odd k ride, "Wanna come for a 10k run?" they asked "Sure" I said, "what pace?" "4:30's - 5's" was the answer. No worries I thought they've got over 100k in the legs. 4:15's and some hills and around 7k in I was cooked, physically and mentally, every thing just seemed to catch up with me at once. It was real eye opener watching the guys train for the long distances. The discipline they showed was amazing. 

Camp site at Wivenhoe

The rest of the weekend was great, I snuck in a couple of runs on my own at my pace but really just relaxed and had a good time. Wivenhoe is a great spot and the family and I will definitely be heading back. (might try to sneak up there for an Olympic distance tri in sept)

Sunset at Wivenhoe

So after that weekend it was back to the books with the last assignment for the semester due. I found it difficult to put my thoughts on paper for this one. I had it all in my head it just was not coming out right on paper. Thankfully the lecturer stretched the deadline out giving an extra weekend to work on it and eventually i turned in something that I am happy with. Oh and Owen if you followed the QR Code and are still reading do I get an extra mark for giving you a mention?

Now it is time to get ready for exams, and train for the GC Marathon, count down to your right, which means grinding out some long k's for the first weekend in July. I have also entered a half marathon in the first weekend of June to help in my preparation. I have done a couple of runs >20 k since Wivenhoe an am really enjoying my running at the moment.

Hopefully my new shoes will arrive this week because it is now all systems go. I am feeling rally good about the GC Marathon, really motivated to get out for some good long runs and hopefully perform come the time.

what do you expect

“I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.” ― Dr. Seuss

Well last tri of the season is done and if I look at the final result I was 10 sec short of PB, so I should be happy. Funny thing is I am not. The last thing I wanted to be doing Sunday morning was wearing Lycra, my head was just not in the game. The good thing was I had a plan that I could stick to and figured once going I would get into it. The swim went to plan, steered clear of trouble swam in relaxed manner with no stress, this may have lead to a bit of slow time (14:21) but that was all right. 

So out of the water and into t1 and I my head was still not in the game and my mind was wondering all over the place. Plan on the bike was to ride hard, use almost all my legs and leave not to much in the tank. This only happened in spurts, ultimately I felt the ride went well but not to plan. It was a bit of a surprise to see I did (41:11). 

Considering the preparation I had done, I was flying and feeling really good physically but still my head was still not in the game. I just could not focus on getting the best out of myself and was feeling flat mentally. 

So out onto the run, I really wanted to run fast as looking at my watch I knew with the way I ahve been running it was possible to smash my PB, but I just could not at first. The first lap felt very slow, I was very frustrated with myself and a little flustered. At the turn two kids went flying past, I thought bugger it just do it and tried to go with them. The pace was to hot for me and they dropped me pretty quick, but it got me going. On the second lap I felt fast and got home in (21:25) not the (20:00) I wanted but not the worst 5k I have run either. 

So all up I just missed a PB so why the disappointment? When I finished I was not spent, I was not hurting and I had gone no where near my limit. I felt I had not done all that I could have on the day. Even worse Monday there was no stiffness, aches or soreness. 

It is funny to have a good result and not really be happy with the way I went. I guess I am expecting more from myself all the time.

It is also a bit of a strange way to finish of the season and what was a fantastic event, and it will be some months before I can try to put it right in Tri.

I guess all I can do is use it as motivation.

tri eve

"The storm starts, when the drops start dropping. 

When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping." - Dr. Seuss

GC Tri tomorrow, I am really looking forward to it. In my mind I feel that my training has been poor leading in but am confident in my base of having a good result. All I can do now is prepare myself as best I can and get excited for what is the best tri in the Gatorade series. My age group has been split into two, so I am expecting big numbers and another crowded, violent swim. I will be trying to stay out of trouble and getting back on land in a timely and relaxed manner. On the bike the plan is to go as fast as possible for as long as possible, I am prepared to leave everything on the bike as this is the leg I want to see improvement in. How the run go depends on how the bike has gone. Hopefully I have enough legs to sub 20, if I do not, my bike better be quick.
This is the final Tri of the season so afterwards my focus can solely be on the GC Marathon and getting through a heap of work so I can enjoy the 42k.
Check back hopefully Sunday night or Monday morning to see how I have gone.

mob mentality

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them." - Dr. Seuss

The other day 2 guys rode past me on recumbent bicycles and it got me thinking, are they kidding? Who buys a bike like that? Why do you buy a bike like that? It also got me wondering where you get a bike like that and if I get one do I automatically get to hang out with these 2 guys? Do they have to like me because I have one? Do I get to be a part of there group?

To me group dynamics are an amazing thing. I have always found it hard to find my place within groups. I spent 15 years within a group and was never quite sure where I fitted in but knew I was part of it. I always put it down to the group dynamics changing and me needing to change with them but I was always aware of how I felt about my position within the group. Group dynamics always change over time people come and go that is how it is, but you always perform at your best when you know where you fit, why you fit. At the same time complacency or acceptance of you position within a group can also lead to poor performance.


I find joining groups very daunting, and it is not something I do on a whim. But how long do you spend circling, deciding if you want to try to infiltrate a group and what if you get it wrong, can you make a clean get away? Then there is the "individuals" why do they join groups? Are they really individuals? Can an individual really be part of the group? Are the leaders of the group really part of the group? There is so much going on in groups yet we all want to be part of them.


We will all be a part of many groups in our lives, and in the most part will be thankful for the benefits that they provide.  I know that I would like to join a couple of more groups, I don't think I will be rushing out to get a recumbent bike, but being around like minded people is definitely good for you. I guess all I really need to do to get involved is remind myself that this group is full of people doing something that I to would like to do. They must be good people then.


p.s. I just noticed there is a lot of ? in this post so if you have any answers do not be afraid to leave them in the comments.
Come on join the group.

getting started again

It has been 2 weeks since I last published here.
I feel like I have been awake for that entire time. My sleeping pattern has really been thrown now that I am back studying again. With assignments due long hours at night are being dedicated to getting things done. And they are only just getting done. Assignment number 1, due to poor time management, lead to 3 hours sleep in 72 hours.  The big draw back is the body just can not function in the way that I want it to. I have had time to exercise but really my body has just not been up to it. So basically it has been a 2 week total absence of strenuous exercise . The main exercise in this period has been walking, and I have not even seriously considered strapping on the HR monitor at all. With only 19 days till the GC tri and still having the intention of running the GC marathon in 12-13 weeks time this break is starting to become a cause for concern. What is becoming harder is starting again, bad habits are so much easier to establish than the good ones. I will definitely be at the start line for the Tri so I have a goal. I do not want to perform at a level that i am not happy with so getting back into training has to happen. WILL HAPPEN.
Sleep seems to be the first thing i need to get a handle on. If the body is not rested the stress I want to place on it can not, and will not be possible.
And yes to those that are as observant as i would be I do see the irony of publishing this late at night when I should probably be in bed sleeping

weekend warrior

First up this weekend it was the Mt Coot-tha challenge 85k including the climb to the top of mount Coot-tha. Note to self next time you enter a bike ride try to do at least one ride in the 4 weeks leading up to it. It was an early start up at 4 out the door at 4:30. The ride started great out to the gateway over the bridge along ICB and then a rest stop at the base of Mt Coot-tha. Now the first 35k leading up to the climb was very enjoyable the next 20k... not so much. I have never been up Mt Coot-tha and did not expect it to be as hard as it was. I had to stop and unclip once, which I disguised with a shirt change, and really struggled having to zig and zag alot. But none the less I made it. At this point I wondered why I was doing this and how much I could get for my bike on E-bay. The next few K's were hard but then I managed to pull myself together and enjoyed the rest of the ride. Big Hi-Light was the rest stop at 72k where HHH was waiting, I think they were more excited about the free ice-poles than seeing their dad, but it gave me a great lift. So I finished did not set the world on fire but feel that I accomplished something, but next time no unclipping on the climb. I felt pretty good afterwards and considered running a couple of K's but thought better of it with the Half Marathon in the arvo. I was not to sure what to expect from myself in the run, but the way I felt I was thinking 1:30 something but was willing to be realistic about what I may or may not have left in my legs.

Check out my ride at HERE

Well 21km done. 1hour 44min not to bad. It started not as planned as I got stuck in amongst runners going a bit slower than what I would have like but once the clear space came I felt pretty good. Getting along at what felt like a fairly comfortable pace I was surprised to see that I was on track to run a 1:30. Through the 10k mark and I was still holding my pace and feeling really good. Thoughts of negative splitting the back end were swirling around in my head and a little kick did not nothing to curb my enthusiasm as I was feeling really good. I should have known better. About 15k in things went pear shaped in a pretty big way. Thoughts turned from PB to maybe I won't finish. The good thing was I was prepared for this. I was quite prepared to walk for a bit then run for a bit for as long as it took to get my body back into some sort of grove to finish of the race. It took about 3k's but it worked and while I did not fly home I felt that I ran strongly to the finish. While being disappointed that I walked and having people run pass me at the back end of race, something that does not normally happen to me, the overall result was  good. The break between the 2 events was a difficult one, not knowing what to do or eat was hard and made me realise I need to learn more about nutrition. pre, during and post event.

Check out my run at HERE

The day was a very enjoyable one covering 105k's in 5 and half hours.
The highlight was definitely seeing HHH on the ride and the excitement of the boys as they came running up to me. With the limited preparation I did it has given me great confidence to step up to a Half Ironman Triathlon at some stage in the future, just need to get out there and do the training.

prior preperation

Well this weekend is going to be a bit of a long one.
Coming up is a trip to the races and some assignment writing.
Then Sunday it is a 85km bike ride in the morning followed by a 21km run in the arvo.
I can safely say that i am not prepared for the Sunday events.
Going in I feel that i have not done the work to achieve the results I am capable of.
But you know what I am going to give it a crack and see what happens.
Stay tuned

running home

If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. - Lewis Carroll 

I went for a run on the weekend, I am starting to increase my distances so I thought I would go for an 80 minute out and back run. This is not usual practice for me, I tend to do distance runs as opposed to timed. The reason for this is all in my head. You see when I run I find it easier to pace myself and gauge how I am feeling by distance. So off I went for what was meant to be 80 minutes. First thought was run as far away from home for 40min then turn around and head back, so I did. Heading out I felt good, but I had this uneasy feeling of not knowing where I was going or where I would end up. So after 40min I ended up somewhere, turned and started what in theory should have been a 40min run back. On the way back I just felt better than i did on the way out. Running become easier, my stride longer and more confident, my breathing relaxed and even. The return trip took just over 30min, my 80min run turned into a 70 and change but why. I did not intend to negative split the run and was hoping to 40 and 40 it as the purpose of the run was to get some time and base into my legs. But for some reason running home, running on the path I knew, it was just easier. This followed on from the last Tri I did where in the run I felt like a flew for the second half of the run. So why can't i set out with the same intent as i come home with. It is such a mindset, it should be easy. Getting started is not easy to do. Even with this blog getting it started, and each individual entry started can be a real effort. Once at the halfway point though and the turn for home has been made it flows it comes like it is never going to stop, it becomes easy.

We travel into the unknown with caution but if we know the way we can set aside our fears and attack the task at hand.

yesterday, race day...

Yesterday was race 6 of the Qld Gatorade Tri Series, so it was up at 4:30 out the door at 5 and off to Raby Bay. The rain of the previous days went away meaning that the 3 hour wait between setting up and race start was not as bad as it could have been. I was not feeling overly confident about this one as my training leading in had fallen away and become a little sporadic. A tight muscle in my back meant I had not done a swim 3 weeks.  The muscle was feeling good and loose as I was standing on the pontoon waiting to get in and I was thinking that it would not be a problem, and I was right. Muscle no problem, 90 of my best mates, big problem. The swim was 400m, 200 down 200 back in a narrow area between moored boats. There was 91, 30-34 year old males crammed into this area and when the hooter went it was on for young (30) and old (34). Because of the short distance there was no clear water just chop, wash, arms and feet. I am no threat to the leaders, I do my best then I try to do better, and I am certainly no fish. My goal at this distance it to get out of the water without an 8 in my time.  It was not to be this time, 8:04, but considering that it was a very crowded and violent swim I am happy with the result.

Into transition and onto the bike.

I have been having trouble with my bike shoes, they have come of during transition 2 times this season which I had put down to bad luck, after yesterday I am putting it down to gear failure that needs to be addressed. Heading out onto the bike my shoe came off at the mount line as I went to put my foot on top of it. I had to stop, run back grab my shoe put it on get on my bike and get going, the fact my other shoe was still on the bike made that little bit more difficult. So I am in and peddling and feeling really good on the approach to the hill for the first time. Up I went, attack the hill work to the out maker, take in water, work to the hill rest down the hill fast steady pace to the turn and back out to the hill, repeat 2 more times that was the plan. Plan was going great till i got just about to the bottom of the hill and was nearly blown off my bike by the wind. I HATE THE WIND. I can never tell when it is behind me and can not stand peddling into it. Peddle into it I did though. Again I am no Cadel.  Your probably thinking now "he can't swim, can't ride, why does he do Triathlon?" Well I will leave that for another Blog Post. But back to the bike, 3 laps, 15k done. Back into transition and all i could think was, "gee I hope my shoe does not come off". Guess what, shoe came off. It has to be gear failure and I will need to sort it out has it is very frustrating and even though I am not at the pointy end I still want to do my best each and every time I toe the line. 33:18 for the bike, I like to believe that this time includes most of both t1 and t2 but i have not had that confirmed.

I did not put the stop watch on this race, I decided to note the time of the start and work the times of legs of the time of day and use mental calculations to gauge how I was going. Looking at the time I calculated that if i did the run in under 18 min i would finish in under 1 hour, pretty much bang on on reflection. 4 1/2 min k's I was not to confident as pushing into the wind had taken a bit out of my legs. I took off and started at what felt like a good pace,  but about 400 in a felt myself slowing. Then I started to fidget, I played with my hat, played with my zip, decided I did not want my hat, yes i did want my hat. This went on for the first 2k, rounding the turn at the 2k mark a guy I meet at the Noosa Tri was heading out to start his run. He is older than me and is at the pointy end of his age group. I thought I would run with him for a bit to refocus. It did the trick, after a little bit (I am talking 10-20 metres) I thought bugger this just go 2k's left run it hard. I took off, I felt like I was running fast and I felt good.

I crossed the line and checked the time, going by my start time I thought I had done a 58:something.

I was happy with that, I felt my swim was solid considering I am a middle to back of the back swimmer. I thought I may have given to much of my legs to the bike but I stuck to my plan and rode as strong and consistent as I could. I was a little disappointed with my run as I felt I should have been running the way was in the end for the entire 4k. One of my goals has at this distance has been to run under 16min. Not knowing what time I had run I felt that if I had of started the way I finished I would be able to do so. So when I got home it was time to jump on the net and check the times.

57:19 on the back of a 15:56 run. In the wash up it was a good day out for me, a 20sec BP at Raby Bay for the distance and sub 16 run. The funny thing is I can not stop wondering what time I would have run if I had started how I finished, or if i did not cross paths with the guy I know at the half way point of the run. I also wonder how much time I lost chasing after stray shoes.

Oh yeah I came 51st out of 91 starters

There is a bit of a break until race 7 at the Gold Coast, so I have a bit of time to sort my shoes out, get in some quality training and then my favorate tapering. If there is one thing I am good at it is tapering.

where did it go?

"If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

I had a bit of a meltdown today, Uni starts next week and suddenly it has become very daunting. It has been a while since I have done any form of study or research that has not involved prices. Having a very quick look at one of my subjects that voice in my head that says you "can't do this" got very very loud. That was my day shot, I felt terrible and confidence was gone. As HG would say "where did it go"? You know what where did it go? Why did it go? And when is it coming back? Confidence, people say you either have it or you don't. But you know what today I did, then didn't, and right about now I feel it coming back. How come confidence can just come and go as it pleases? Why do we allow our confidence to take flight on occasion and how is it, like a pigeon it returns in its own good time.
Confidence, self belief call it what you will to me it is such a mystery as to why it comes and goes so often. When it is gone it can be crippling, why it is gone can dominate my mind. Question after question about what has been done differently, what variable was there this time compared to last. The most annoying thing is that ultimately even when the pigeon is only hitting the out maker ability has not gone anywhere.

Motivation/Inspiration

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. - Zig Zigler

I often find myself thinking of motivation and inspiration.  The first post of this blog was some days ago, has my motivation for it diminished, is it gone? I don't think so. The motivation to do it is there, the inspiration is there, the sitting down and getting it done... well it is a little slow arriving. Things in my world are changing fairly significantly at the moment, things are starting to find there time slots. I am feeling motivated to become a better me. A big thing for me is to train, and training requires motivation and inspiration. I have been watching a lot Ironman lately and if you are ever lacking motivation or looking for inspiration take a look at them. while the pros are amazing athletes, it is the weekend warriors and the special stories that i like the best. to think that people with no legs can finish within the cut off, there was one guy who had als and was dead within 18 months of completing his first Ironman. If these people can get so much out of there body mainly through the  power of their mind surely i can, surely i can. The problem with watching Ironman is it makes me want to do one, one day. I know i am not up to it just yet and need to do a lot more training but one day, one day. For now it is Olympic distance and then a step up to the Half distance at some point in the next 12 months. I am motivated to do it, I want to do it, so all i need to do is sort out the sitting down and getting it done. If your ever wanting some motivation or inspiration this is the guy Dick Hoyt.

and in the beginning

Well this is my umpteenth time at attempting to start a blog. I continually have the intention of blogging once a week, often think about but never do it. This time will be different this time the Blog is on. As the title suggest the blogs may be brief, yet they may not as well.